Hello and welcome to the 2002 Assclown Nominees page. Here you will find and be encouraged to contribute to a list of individuals who could best serve the good of mankind by becoming part of a morbid statistic. Good examples of such would be proprietors of bogus products, persons suffering from terminal stupidity, or members of society who should have been run over by the schoolbus as a child. As this page begins to grow and flourish, we ask only that you include a reason why your nominee deserves consideration. You may of course edit/add-to anything you choose, but please don't undo something only to replace it with some lame-ass rubber chicken fake dog-poo bullshit. Have fun! ------------------ Jan Morgan - see DeDion. Jan Morgan is, as most here know, proof positive that the circus animal handlers cohabitated with the chimpanzees. Known in some circles by his self appointed title of DeDion, Jan spends a considerable amount of time preaching illogical suspension theory on bulletin boards such as www.corral.net as well as others, no doubt. Jan found a mortal enemy in Brian Provost some time ago, as Brian found Jan to be easy prey. Jan is somebody's hero, but I'm not sure who. More to follow. . . . Dana Simmons - aka Bam-Bam or Bam-Bam in Atlanta, see http://www.geocities.com/Bam_Bam_Dana/ for visual identification. Dana is know by cc.com'ers as the guy who offset his rear brake's ineffectiveness by installing a brake proportioning valve on his __front brakes.__ Dana is a pioneer in racecar crash cage springbackiness, and is a legend in experimental aviation circles for his revoloutionary method of testing the strength of welded tube joints. http://corner-carvers.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1009&perpage=40&highlight=BamBam&pagenumber=1 He is also an accomplished racecar driver and suspension expert. Dana has a fine website. Dana likes dogs, especially his Grate Dane. That way, he doesn't have to squat down any to fuck it. Gene Ray - The TimeCube. You were all educated stupid. The TimeCube is the culmination of genius Theory Of Everything thinking. All your base are belong to us. My head hurts. . . . Anyone from http://www.mulhollandraceway.org - California canyon racer boys who will hopefully find the short way down the cliffs they race along. Learn about "heal-toe" downshifts and other assorted driving techniques. Deadria Farmer-Paellmann: We all know and love this lady. Her story can be found here: ["Reparations Sought From U.S. Firms for Slavery"|http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20020326/ts_nm/rights_slavery_lawsuit_dc]. I genuinely feel touched by her caring, devotion and overall good nature in trying to put an end to the world of frivilous lawsuits. Fucking money-grubbing bitch. John Hennessey: I guess he decided that since con-artist and all-around douschebag Corey Shaw has been out of commission he needed to step up to the plate and fill in the void. I am still amazed at how much money he has ripped off people for. TJ - Owner of [www.TrickPro.com|http://www.TrickPro.com] Owns a company that proudly proclaims they have "re-invented the wheel". You can check it out, lest you not believe his Jantastic background. Follows the credo of his idiocy, "if a manufacturer tells me it's better, it must be" Still doesn't understand why a bone-stock 2001 GT automatic! was able to beat his boulevard-pimpin' 82GT 6 speed in his favorite pasttime besides jerking off, namely auto-x. Decided it was easier to sell his junk to the newbie kids there than going out and driving W2W with his old [buddy|http://www.silverhorseracing.com], and trying to sell to more seasoned drivers that may have heard of "reactive kinematics". Still believes that hands down anything he sells or puts on his car makes it worth ten times the going rate... and ten times better than whatever "the other guy" has. Can't understand why his business keeps going down like a 5 dollar ho on the strip. -Edit Note- trickpro.com is history! Sorry for anyone who missed it, I guess re-inventing the wheel just doesn't pay what it used to! Dave Inall, of Incon Turbos: Creeping up on Cory and John for leaching money from peoples pocket books and not delivering the goods. The man known as "SPEED" on www.corral.net : His claim to fame is [an absolute lack of knowledge of the physics of a car in motion|http://www.corral.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=120499&perpage=100] His lack of ability to understand general concepts is eclipsed only by his unique style of argument, which appears to involve a lot of hats. He truly redefines the term "Member" when referring to his status in the Corral Community. Mark Raza (93&03cobraracer)- For his outstanding contributions in the field of talking big then crying and running away as demonstrated here: http://www.corner-carvers.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=41939#post41939 Jerry Bonner, of mankato for getting drunk on his birthday and crapping on his living room floor. SirWindsor - For not only having Vin Deisel as an avatar and a quote from The F&TF, but for being just the biggest fucking tool of the corral ever, and that really says something. Kevin Fischer - For being the ugliest and most retarded ( Except for zana) Homosexual in the history of the world. FUCK. He is also unoriginal trying to change the name to me. FUCKHEAD!!!!!!!!! HE SUCKS COCK, Altima.net's NissanLunatic - For having gravel brains and not shutting up even after proper engineers explain in 30 forum pages how the world works. Should be awarded out-standing Boulevard Pimping Assclown Trophy. Garbaggio from the DTMB - For being a total assclown.